Samantha – Through Her Mother’s Eyes

I would like to extend an open heart and a warm hug for all of you who have entered this site, not knowing where to turn in your new journey, and only tears, and confusion holding you together. It has taken me awhile to establish and forge ahead on my new road which has been constructed and built with boulders, sand, pavement, rocky ledges, cliffs, and horrendous storms but also beautiful sunrises and amazing sunsets.

Samantha, was my fourth daughter, a charming, loving, happy, funny and beautiful young lady. She was the mother of 3 magnificent children. But she was also very lonely, confused and isolated in her own story. She found a friend in addiction, and no matter how we all approached this new and scary word as a family, she found her comfort, safety and well-being in this world of frightening and disheartening power. Samantha left this world in September of 2019.

As we all fell into the pit of grief, each one of us had to deal and negotiate our own guilt through the tunnel of darkness, some days relying on each other, some days falling further away from reality, some days questioning why, some trying to remember the sound of her voice and some seeing her face in the clouds.

I am now on another plain, I know, through my faith, that I will see her again, but that does not keep her here, I have had to find in my own mind an artistic way to memorialize the child, the woman, the person; staying away from the cause and focusing on WHO SHE WAS.

I found that the more I tried to be heard, the more people walked in a different direction, not wanting to hear her story. Well, for anyone experiencing grief, one knows that it’s “quicksand”, in order to get out of it, you have to go through it. Soooooo…

This site has been started so that anyone who is going through a story of loss, whether it is because of addiction, cancer, suicide, homicide or any other form of death, it’s still a child, your child, and you need to be heard.

This is your private journey, and only parents who have gone through such a loss can truly understand, but we can be here for one another. I can guarantee that in your pain and confusion, you will never get over it, but it will become different. And with this new different, you will become the person that your child always believed you were.

Welcome to your quiet place – a place where you can share your story and have it be listened to.

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